Racing, training, dirt, and adventure
When I’m up I’m up, and I want the world to know it. I want to share the experience with everyone who has helped me, pushed me, and believed in me along the way to get me to this moment. So when I’m down, I socially shut down, my blog, and athlete page suffer, and I go into hibernation. I fundamentally know that I will not lose your support, and that this is all a process. In a sport as grueling as cycling, a lot of things have to go right and luck needs to be on one’s side to have a good day, let alone a fantastic day. And, even fewer things need to happen to make for a bad day on the bike, often completely out of one’s control.
So why am I so hard on myself and why the shut down? Its hard to say “Hey, world I’m making progress, I’m doing better then last year, I’m crushing my power numbers but it just doesn’t seem to be enough right now to get me on the podium, sorry for falling on my face, but I’m getting closer to being there, I hope you will still believe in me and cheer for me!” I also am not one to make excuses or point fingers, if I was crashed out gapped off, dropped or have a mechanical it all comes down to something I did, did not do, or a decision that was made at some point leading up to or after the starting gun went off. It could even be karma getting me back for killing that spider last night.
What I am trying to say is it is hard for me to share and talk about the bad days, the hard days. I’m embracing them though, as part of the process, and am learning how to navigate through them and still share my racing experiences with all of you in a positive, honest way.
I promise to be better moving forward. Choosing not to look back to much I will summarize the past few months.
I went in to several stage races with expectations, and personal goals, some where met but many where not. At Joe Martin this year, I was in the first chase group, that much closer to being in the select group of top contenders. In my second year of stage racing I can feel the gains, but know I have a lot of hard work ahead of me. With a new team, and a team that is developing its riders it has been an interesting navigation exercise. We have been set free to learn how to race and to learn to finish a race. This has been both liberating, but also difficult for me to navigate as I am accustomed to having a role, a job to accomplish that often lead to me not finishing or even being expected to finish with the leaders. So with this new found freedom and expectations to finish the race and to try and finish with the leaders, I was learning to race my bike all over again, and maybe the right way for the first time.
I had an incredible training camp in Bend, Oregon where I got to spend some quality time with the people and pups that I love, riding my road bike on killer climbs and my mountain bike on mind blowing single track that made me question why I do not race dirt. This was great prep both mentally and physically for the races to come.
I am currently out on the road again just finishing up Pro Road Nationals in Chattanooga where I came up short of my goal to cross the finish line. I, along with 53 other riders, were pulled and only a very select group of 23 riders were allowed on the finishing circuits. Now in Richmond, I am enjoying the company of awesome teammates training together getting ready for the upcoming races in Winston Salem and Philly. No matter how the races go expect updates.